Now, the real fun is in the video for the tune.  Al is one pissed off Santa, and this is one funny video. 

Al Jourgensen And Mark Thwaite It’s Always Christmas TIme

From the Seattle Times:

Seattle police say a man who believed he was a ninja was impaled by a spike when he tried to jump over a metal fence.

At 11:15 last night, a police officer was looking for the victim of a reported assault in the 600 block of Seventh Avenue when she encountered the man impaled on a metal fence and screaming for help. Seattle Fire Department medics were called and removed the man from a fence spike and transported him to nearby Harborview Medical Center. Officers, believing the man might have been involved in the assault, spoke with him at the hospital. The man said he was not involved. Instead, he said he thought he was a ninja and would be able to leap over the 4- to 5-foot fence.

As a police account of the incident notes, “Clearly he was overconfident in his abilities.”

This article can be read in its original format here >>.

LIMA, PERU — “They call me the hardware store,” says Requelme Abanto from his hospital bed in northern Peru.

Doctors in the city of Cajamarca say they removed 1.5 pounds of metal from Abanto’s stomach, including nails, coins, and rusted copper wire and scrap metal…

…The 26-year-old construction worker ate the metal for months, and told Peru’s Channel 9 television that he may now do it in public “as sport.”

“I swallowed 17 nails in February and didn’t die,” he said. “Five-inch nails, all in one day.”

Full Story Here >>.

Two Things.

First of all the competitive eating world could always use a few more “extreme” events like eating scrap metal, so I whole-heartedly support Abanto’s dream of making his neurosis a career.

Second, I just happen think the proclamation  “I ate 17 nails last February and didn’t die” is an instant classic.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hahaha. I love cats.

This video takes a scene from “Der Untergang” (”Downfall”) (2004). Since its in German, and subtitles are easy, there are a lot of other parodies.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Highlights from the BBC Asia Pacific article;

Australian police are gearing up for an annual crackdown on motor racing fans – limiting race-goers to 24 cans of beer a day.

Wine-drinkers must also show restraint, facing a four litres per day limit.

Those choosing to drink lower-strength beer will be allowed to bring in 36 cans, police said.

More here.

“A community of dwarves has set up its own village to escape discrimination from normal sized people. Everyone in the mountain commune in Kunming, southern China, must be under 4ft 3ins tall – and they run their own police force and fire brigade from their 120 residents.

Now the group has turned itself into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing like fairy tale characters.”

Article from Metro.co.uk can be found here.

Word on the street has it that someone’s putting a cock-shaped chicken nugget on the block for auction at Ebay.

Now, I’ve always felt that preprocessed meat nuggets present a certain kind of Rorsach test for some. And if it’s true that we humans are indeed “pattern seeking animals”,  and that this impulse includes a tendency to find significance in the contours of  our preformed animal snack products, I wonder why it is we assume these things most often take the shape of  saints, celebrities, and human genitalia?

Or maybe it’s just a rocket ship.

Link to original feature at  Urlesque.com