Boil Before Drinking » attack

Dolphins are Assholes

Brother Greg — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:59:12 +0000

But the funny, cute kind. Like the Alec Baldwin’s of the sea.
They like to use Jellyfish as sports equipment, but sometimes those dolphins stop playing with thier food and start fucking with people. That’s why I always swim with knife gauntlets, in case they need to be reminded who’s mastered the forging of steel (hint, it’s not dolphins, those fuckers can’t even read).

Claws for Cuddles: Man Looking for Hugs Attacked by Panda

Ninja Man: with Ninja Powers! — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 13:21:33 +0000

A Chinese man who was attacked by a giant Panda after breaking into the animal’s cage in order to cuddle with it did not apparently consider that the unasked for affection would likely provoke the beast.

Link to full story here.

Artist's depiction of a typical panda encounter.

Now I’m not the kind of guy that thinks a developed sense reason and finer emotional sensibilities are always incompatible, but stories like this make countering that argument a lot harder than it ought to be. Come on nature lovers, help me out for a change!

Flaming Squirrel Destroys Car

Brother Greg — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:08:00 +0000

An attack by a flaming squirrel has destroyed a 2006 Camry. I mean on fire flaming, not the other kind (I’m looking at you Rocky). Apparently the squirrel chewed through a power line and fell onto a car, slid into the engine compartment, and destroyed the vehicle.
“Police said there were no injuries — except for the squirrel, that is, which is dead.” Wow, that’s funny.