I was reading through a really good blog (Indexed) that I was directed to from a great blog (Freakonomics) today and saw this gem of a title:

I know you’re special. Now give me my fries.

Well it looks as though the Polar Bears might not all die, and Ted turner can let his crack anti-cannibal security team relax for a while. The world will not boil, not this year at least.

According to NOAA Southern hemisphere sea ice (yes I know, no Polar bears there) is at its highest recorded level since the beginning of recordings in 1979. And fun new models are starting to come out to explain why temperature isn’t rising like the alarmists and fund raisers would have you believe.

So hopefully the pause in the destruction of the Earth is permanent right? Not according to a study published in Nature last week. According to that we’re all still headed to mass extinctions, but the Earth is just taking a break.

Who doesn’t love family oriented television. It’s always great to have something to sit down in front of with the whole family and laugh together. I know my whole family loves this great new show called “Family Guy“.

It’s about a family living in the suburbs, they have 3 kids (Alex, Mallory, and Jennifer) and a dog (Andy). It’s funny because the kids are uptight conservatives and the parents are easy going baby boomers. They also have a black neighbor named Cleveland Huxtable, a handi-American neighbor named Joe Reeve, and a sex addict neighbor named Quagmire, I think his last name is Jackson.

This show has been canceled a few times, but it’s back. And they’re paying the guy who makes it a lot of money. Seth Macfarlane, the shows creator and voice of many of the characters is getting $100 million to stick around on Fox until 2012.

I took a course recently where the instructor said that 75% of all drivers think they’re better than average. This follows up on that theme but takes it a step further. Apparently pretty much everyone thinks they’re better than average, and the worse you are, the worse your estimate of your abilities is (probably because the part of your brain responsible for self assessment is as damaged as the rest of it). The only people who underestimate their skills are at the very top.

So print the article out and laminate it, and when people come to you with stupid questions that they think are really important hand it to them. The lamination is so that they:

A-Don’t drool on it

B-Get hilariously frustrated when they try to tear it up

C-Don’t hurt themselves

D-All of the above

I’ve always been a big fan of France, and of banks losing billions of dollars (yes I know it’s the customer and the taxpayer who pay in the end but it’s still fun to watch). So todays news that Jerome Kerviel, the trader implicated in the recent $8Billion loss at Societe General is suing for wrongful dismissal put a huge smile on my face.

Apparently SG has violated a few aspects of French labour law in dismissing Kerviel. Not only have they not had a meeting with him to explain why he was fired, they also have not proven he did what he was alleged to have done. On top of that get this- According to the Times UK

“Mr Kerviel’s massive gambles on markets were actually in the black when his bosses stepped in. The losses only occurred when SocGen sought to unwind his gambles.”

So not only was this guy playing fun games with billions, he was making his masters money until they tried to figure it out. Once again we learn to leave the math guys alone as long as the black box keeps spitting out money.

The best son ever promised to hire a stripper for his dads funeral if he lived to be over 100. Apparently this guy was a big fan of the lovely ladies who dance naked, and would travel around Taiwan visiting clubs with his buddies. The old guy kicked it last week at the age of 103, and his son came though. Way to go Taiwan guy.

Everybody throw out your HD-DVD players!

It’s officially over, and Blu-Ray has won the war. Today Toshiba announced it will no longer be supporting HD-DVD, effectively surrendering in a war that has been lost for some time now.
So try to trick someone into buying your HD-DVD before they find out it’s obsolete, and if you can’t do that you can join the ranks of people who held on to their Beta machines for 5 years claiming technological superiority, while not having any new movies to rent.

I’ve been seeing a lot about this “Barack Obama” fellow for the last few weeks and decided to get to know what he’s all about. Apparently he’s not a Middle Easterner, he’s actually more African in origin. So that raises the question “Is America ready for another black President”?
We all know in the 90’s America a black president, but that guy seems to think the uptight white lady he married would be a better choice. I disagree, I think it’s time to go for a black president. So i’ve created this handy matrix to outline the top 3 choices-

As you can see President Lindberg from “The Fifth Element” is the top choice, but won’t be available for more than two centuries. Based on this I endorse Barack Obama to be the next President of the United States of America.

Well yeah, these people probably have a point. China may not be the coolest place on the planet to be a zoo animal. Maybe any kind of animal since they all make it on the menu. Still i’m not going to be all hippocratical about it.
Watching lions and tigers ride freaked out horses would be pretty cool!

And you’ll never guess what it is. Ok, maybe you will because of the picture. And this is according to the Wall Street Journal.
SHARKS WITH LASER BEAMS ARE KILLING THE INTERNET!
I knew it had to be something more devious than a series of accidents, or a multinational conspiracy. But this begs the question, who strapped those lasers to the sharks?